My Dirty Little Secret 🤫

You probably know that making the right connections can be life-changing, but what does that look like more tangibly? The past few years, I have made a few introductions that have resulted in:

• A $15M investment into a scaling prop-tech startup
• A $750k seed-round investment into a publishing startup
• Countless senior-level jobs
• A client-attorney relationship that fueled a major franchising opportunity
• A business acquisition
• A powerful law enforcement connection to mitigate harassment

These are just a handful of the outcomes from bringing the right people together (TBH I’m still waiting on the opportunity to bring the right romantic couple together—and if I have inadvertently, please let me know!).

And because I understand the power of connection—and its ability to accelerate progress—it’s become a key part of Arcbound’s work. It’s weird to share this so publicly, but I’ve never seen us in the business of personal branding, per se. To me, followers for followers’ sake is a bit shallow.

I see us in the business of enabling people to know and express themselves deeply and to enable true connection—bringing together all the parts of a brand, a business, and a network for transformative impact. Thus, connecting people is actually an element of a much greater mission.

Doing it well, I truly believe, requires a real drive to improve relationship quality and connect the dots of people’s lives. Making connections like these isn’t as simple as flipping through your mental rolodex (or Linkedin network). It requires a deeper dive into shared ideas, values, and, ultimately, purpose.

So, how do we do it—and how can you make more meaningful connections in your world?

Start Deep

Get to the essence of what others care about, and opportunities for high quality connections will start to reveal themselves. It’s kind of like stripping the layers of an onion, pulling back the papery stuff to get to the part with flavor and bite. Ask questions like:

“Where do you want to go?”

“Why do you want to get there?”

“With that in mind, how do you see your life in 3–5 years?”

This gives you faster insight into the human across from you—and ultimately into how to connect the human to the right people and opportunities at the right time.

Know Where You Want to Go

Note that it’s a two-way street. While asking the right questions requires a level of intuition and meeting others where they are, the recipient must know themselves enough to respond effectively. Those asking are attempting to gather vital information; those answering are providing data. Both groups are responsible for interpreting what they uncover.

Take the time to identify your North Star, whether in business, life, or personal relationships. That way, you’ll be prepared to provide the right information and pave the way for deeper relationships.

Research bears this out: there’s a significant relationship between self-knowledge and the quality of one’s connections.

The Real Secret to Authentic Connection

First, an opinion (perhaps an unpopular one): I think people aimlessly wander. They distract themselves with details because they’re too scared to face life head on…they don’t know who they are and they’re not intentional about finding out. You don’t just arrive with a meaningful life without questioning who you are.

To be a connector—to launch meaningful relationships for others—you must not only know the parties in question, you must also know yourself.

That’s why Arcbound isn’t just a content factory, and its clients aren’t necessarily striving to be influencers—at least not as the world defines them today. We’re a community of people who are deeply engaged with who they are and how to show up in the world so they can make an impact.

With all this in mind, I keep a handful of strategies in mind when I’m doing the deep work of making connections:

• Read the (energetic) room. At the end of the day, we are energetic beings living in physical bodies. As we evolve, we vibrate at different frequencies. When you meet others, try to determine whether there’s an energetic connection. Does the conversation flow? Are you learning about them quickly?When that’s the case, it’s easier to think about others who are on a similar wavelength and bring them together.

• Truly listen. We’ve all been in conversations where the other person seems to be waiting for their chance to respond, rather than absorbing what we’re saying. We can easily fall into that trap ourselves—particularly when we feel as if we have to prove ourselves. But the reality is, listening will get you much farther, helping you meet them where they’re at and provide the value they’re looking for.

• Be open and non-judgmental. When I hear what the other person is saying, I’m careful to receive that information openly and avoid judgment. Sharing is a form of trust, and it merits the most respect you can muster. We can’t provide real value if we don’t respect their journey.

• Provide context. Make sure you give both parties enough information to opt in. That brings us back to the deep questions we started with. Share their whys—and why you think they’d be a good fit for one another. I don’t get it perfect or right every time, but more often than not, I do.

Connecting others is a long term investment, much like building a community. The fruit of those connections are harvested much later, in ways you may never expect. You may get invited to be part of an invaluable group or event, and meet someone there who changes your life. You may hear about a good outcome two years later, and a decade after that, when you’re in a pinch, you know you can count on them. Or you may never learn the outcome at all—but karma is real.

What do you do to foster meaningful connections?