Tommy Breedlove is the Wall Street Journal and USA Today Best Selling Author of the Book, “Legendary,” as well as the founder of the Legendary Life Movement, a movement that empowers driven people to be Pros in Leadership, Business, Mindset, & their Relationships. Tommy challenges high achievers to stop chasing the Ghost of “More” & “When” and lean in to the Legendary leaders, spouses, and humans they were born to be.
As a Premiere Leadership, business, relationship, and mindset coach who is a regularly featured keynote speaker at global events, Tommy started his 20-year corporate career at one of the largest financial consulting firms in the world, and eventually became a shareholder, the International Practice Leader, and a member of the board of directors for one of the largest public accounting and financial firms in the southeast U.S. At the top of his career, Tommy experienced a transformational moment inspiring him to walk away from the corporate world to change his life and follow his true calling.
Tommy now serves clients and audiences everywhere by empowering them to build and live Legendary Lives. He guides people to discover a life of significance without compromising their drive or ambition. The simple tools he shares show them how to work in their zone of brilliance, obtain financial confidence, and live with meaning and balance. The goal is to help everybody to become the person they’ve always wanted to be.
In this episode, Tommy and Bryan discuss:
- Reconciling with childhood trauma as an adult
- Valuing ourselves based on what’s inside, not our title
- Finding community based on our lived experiences
The show is shared on the following platforms:
Transcript:
Bryan Wish:
Tommy Breedlove, welcome to the One Away Show.
Tommy Breedlove:
Bryan Wish my brother, we’ve had an unbelievable conversation for the last five minutes. Let’s carry it into this man. I am so thankful to be here.
Bryan Wish:
Oh, it’s grateful to have you here and grateful for our relationship the last seven years. So it’s fun to get something on recording here.
Tommy Breedlove:
So we met when we were two, so we’re both nine years old.
Bryan Wish:
I met you before I was born. I met you in [inaudible 00:00:34].
Tommy Breedlove:
I’m like, God, am I getting old? Seven years just flew by. All right, lets do this, brother.
Bryan Wish:
But your secret is just the way you look today versus when I met you, it’s like aging and you don’t really like … so all right, let’s go. So Tommy, what’s the one away moment that you want to share with us today?
Tommy Breedlove:
My one away moment, brother, is I had spent 20 years building financial consulting, public accounting. I was a professional guy. I was an owner of a big firm in the Southeast United States and I decided to walk away. I was a partner, owner, board of director, and my financial security was set, but I knew I didn’t love it. I knew I didn’t want to do it. I knew it wasn’t my passion. I knew it wasn’t my purpose. I knew it looked good on paper, but I was miserable. The fact that my community, my wife, my network said, You know what, brother, go chase your dream. And they gave me permission, because I wasn’t courageous enough to do it. I wasn’t self confident enough to do it. I wasn’t secure enough to do it.
I was scared, because I put my identity into what I did and not who I was. So I think walking away from a 20 plus year career in public accounting, financial consulting and mergers and acquisitions, that was my one away moment, man. The fact that I had a community of network and friends who believed in me more than I believed in myself, and that has allowed me to go chase my dreams and live my purpose. And now being, now looking back, more successful both inside and out than I was before. That was my moment, brother.
Bryan Wish:
Well, one, incredible that you had the courage and the network that enabled you to step away after financially being set. I remember some of the just super raw conversations we had by your house in downtown Atlanta back in the day when you were in this transition, and what you’ve done since is quite remarkable. Tommy, what I would love to maybe go into is you talk a little bit about it in your book, a little bit about your childhood and your upbringing and how formative that was to you and perhaps what led you to a path of more security. So maybe can you dive into a little bit how you grew up in some of those formative moments and how you were shaped as a person?
Tommy Breedlove:
Yeah, Bryan, thank you for that. What I would love to say is I realized recently through a podcast, there’s a world class therapist who interviewed me recently and he goes, “Can I tell you something, Tommy?” And I was like, “Yeah, tell me whatever you want, man.” He goes, “You’ve been running from rage your entire life and running to peace.” I was like, man, that is so powerful. So why do I share that with you and your people? Man, I grew up in the south side of Atlanta. Good, good, solid blue collar, nobody went to college type of place and hardworking, good people. But unfortunately for me, I grew up around a lot of violence, rage, abuse, both inside and out of the home and on the street and inside the home. For me, at 18 years old, I was slated to be the first person to go to college in my family.
I had a full ride to the University of Georgia, half a ride to the University of Miami. I had all these scholarship offers from all these universities. Unfortunately, because I grew up around violence and rage and abuse, I became what I hated. I became that violence, abuse and rage. At 18, I committed a violent crime and I was looking at seven years in prison. I was literally charged with aggravated assault and a lot of other things. Luckily, by the grace of God and it being my first adult offense, it was dropped to two heavy misdemeanors. But I was sentenced to two years in prison and I spent my 19th birthday incarcerated. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, but one of the best experiences in my life. Why do I say it was one of the best?
Well, it scared me straight for sure, because I thought I was a wolf and a lion, and I realized real quickly I was a sheep. And one of the best male mentors that I’ve ever had in my life appeared in that institution. He was an African American gentleman. That’s really unusual because people don’t cross racial lines in those institutions very often. It’s just kind of how it is. I don’t agree with it, but it’s kind of how it is. But he saw something in me that I couldn’t see myself. So that time that I spent in a cage, he held me accountable, he mentored me, he loved me. We had great conversations and he called me Young Blood. He’s like, “Young Blood, you’re not going to become a part of this revolving door system,” because he had been in the system his whole life.
So he was in his forties and I was 18 years old. With his love, his guidance, his mentorship, that was the first person in my life to give me permission to say, Hey, I don’t want to be this way. So when I got out, I went to community college, I worked in a factory during the day, community college at night, lived basically in a slum, for lack of a better word, making $6 an hour. But I was going to college at night, working hard in a factory all day. But that did lead me … one of the things I’m most proud of is I literally went from a jail cell to community college, to a factory making nuclear waste containers. I’m not kidding. To then going to the University of Georgia. I don’t know how they let me in, but they did. And then graduating and going from a cage to a company called Deloitte and Touche in three years. That’s one of the finer moments in my life. So that was a little bit about my background, brother.
Bryan Wish:
With the story, inspirational for anyone who hits rock bottom. Tell me when you were in the cage, so to speak.
Tommy Breedlove:
Oh, it was a cage. It was a cage.
Bryan Wish:
You said that the elder who called you Young Blood saw something in you. Did you see something in yourself at the time?
Tommy Breedlove:
No, I sure didn’t. One thing I think we have failed on as a society is helping people be emotionally, mentally, and I’m going to use the word spiritually, not religion, strong. I was told throughout my youth that I was not good enough. They used different words than I’m about to use now. I want to keep this G rated, but I was basically told that I was a piece of garbage, that I was unlovable, that I wasn’t good enough and you’re never going to amount to anything. Cause that’s what they were told, both the neighborhood, the street and members in my family, that they didn’t know any better. They were unconscious. So I started to believe that story, that I wasn’t good enough, that I was a piece of garbage, that I wasn’t ever going to mount to anything and I was just going to be what I was.
So no, I didn’t believe in me and I was unconscious, I was unaware. He saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. It took me till 36, years and years and years later, to realize, hey, I am lovable. I am good enough, I am worthy, I am valuable, I am a good dude. But even then I couldn’t realize it. But what was so amazing and so almost divine is that he saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. It took me years later, but just with his wisdom and his guidance, I believed in myself enough to eliminate the neighborhood, to get out of the people I was running with, and to go to work during the day, community college at night, ending up at the University of Georgia. Just working hard on being a good dude and not being that person on the street. I think his guidance and mentorship … now, I didn’t believe in myself, but he helped me get to the next stage to then get to the next stage to where I did believe in myself. Thank you for letting me share that.
Bryan Wish:
Yeah, I think what you said is powerful about being emotionally, mentally, spiritually healthy.
Tommy Breedlove:
It’s hard and we’re not taught it, man.
Bryan Wish:
No.
Tommy Breedlove:
We’re taught the exact opposite.
Bryan Wish:
You wrote a book about it, but we’ll get there.
Tommy Breedlove:
I wrote a book about it.
Bryan Wish:
We’ll get there, we’ll get there. One more piece of context before we go a little more forward. You grow up in this environment that you were unlovable, you didn’t believe in yourself. Let me ask, tell me about your parents. What was it like being a kid and growing up in that kind of environment? Because to start hanging with people and making bad decisions and this and that, what did that stem from? How did you get attracted to even putting yourself in that environment in the first place?
Tommy Breedlove:
Yeah, so the parent thing is a tough question for me because it’s taken me … and I’ll just tell your audience, I’m 48 years old, and it’s taken me at least 38 years to forgive, to forget, to love, to move on. I firmly believe this in all my heart and soul is my parents did the best they could. They were hardworking. I believe they’re good people. But the thing about society is it’s up to us to break the chain. They were doing what was taught to them. They were doing what happened to them. They were doing the best that they knew how to do, right, wrong or indifferent. I had a lot of anger, I had a lot of rage, I had a lot of insecurity, for lack of a better word. It stemmed from them and it’s hard for me today.
My parents are in their eighties and they’re not going to be with us much longer. In fact, I don’t think they’ll be with us much longer at all. But it’s hard for me today to be as aware as I am, as a conscious I am and hard working on myself I am to know that they still don’t love themselves fully. They still haven’t forgiven themselves fully, that they still carry that insecurity in their eighties. But deep down in there, they’re really, really beautiful human beings. They’re great people doing the best they can. So I chose … my sister did not, and I don’t care if she listens to this or not, I chose to break the chain.
No more insecurity, no more fear, no more rage, no more anger, no more abuse and violence. I’m not doing that shit. I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m going to live my life and I’m going to try to be the best I can. So for me, I am the best I’ve ever been with my parents today from a forgiveness standpoint, from a love standpoint, from a goodness standpoint. I wish I had a better relationship with my sister. I just won’t allow negativity in my life. But the reason I say all that is I chose to break the chain and not go forward with the quote Breedlove life, which is a interesting name, isn’t it?
Bryan Wish:
yeah.
Tommy Breedlove:
For 36 years, I did not live up to that name. For the last 12, I’ve lived up to it. So my family did the best they could. My parents did the best they could. I’m so grateful for them and all their sacrifices. They gave me drive, they gave me charisma, they gave me life. So I wish for them that they knew what I knew now, but they’re on their journey and I’m on mine, and I’ll leave it at that.
Bryan Wish:
Well, thanks for being vulnerable and sharing what you could.
Tommy Breedlove:
Of course, of course.
Bryan Wish:
Just to pull out what you said, you had to settle the past for yourself so you could move forward and through that process, obviously break the cycle and not pass it down to bring it into others around you. So it’s a hard journey, a courageous one. Thanks for sharing where things stem from. So we talked a little bit about growing up, we talked about the moment locked up.
Tommy Breedlove:
It feels like a lifetime ago. It’s almost 30 years now.
Bryan Wish:
I promise we’re going to get to the present here soon.
Tommy Breedlove:
I love it.
Bryan Wish:
So when you were working this job that, let’s just back to Deloitte and you were working your way up and you became quite successful in the financial services space.
Tommy Breedlove:
Yeah.
Bryan Wish:
I remember you talking about this in your book as well. Do you know it was empty and hollow kind of ascending? Or were you even conscious to that in the first place?
Tommy Breedlove:
I was totally unconscious with it. The one thing I did know, so when you go to a firm like Boston Consulting Group or McKenzie or Deloitte or Pricewater House or Goldman and Sachs, these are the financial … They’re all in different spaces of the financial industry, but they’re all the same. What they have in same is you’re surrounded by ridiculously smart people. Most of them are thoroughbreds. So I was blue collar, south side white trash, for lack of a better word. So the one thing I did know is this horse looked a lot different than all those other horses. That’s an insecurity, that’s a fear, that’s an, I’m not good enough. But I knew this, I was a street kid that could outmaneuver them, out tough them. I was meaner than they were. I was smarter than they were and better than they were.
And I was by far more driven than they were because I was not going to be back on the street. I was not going to be back in that neighborhood. I definitely was not going to be back in that cage. So I felt bad for them because they stood no chance. So it’s like Mike Tyson. I’m going to be the best in the world and I know what it takes. I know what it feels like to be punched in the face. But what I didn’t know is I was carrying an FU backpack. You know what I’m saying? I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was ascending for all the wrong reasons because I was just trying to fill a hole in my heart, because on me outside I looked good. I had the suit, I had the cuff links, I was being one of them. But inside, I never felt like one of them.
They were not great human beings. I loved Deloitte, I loved the financial services career, I loved all the humans I met. But for Tommy, he always felt lower then, not good enough because that was taught to me. So my ascension in that world to eventually becoming a partner, to eventually becoming a shareholder, to eventually becoming a board of director. I made all that by 39. It was all trying to prove myself to myself and I was unconscious of that. But what I was conscious of is I always felt less than and I always felt alone, and I always felt naked and scared.
It wasn’t true. None of it was true. What I told my story about those folks, no matter where they came from or what school they went to or how they were raised. The story I was telling about them and the story I was telling about myself, it was all bullshit. And what I realize now at 48 is we were all the same. But then what made me so successful was that FU backpack.
Bryan Wish:
Interesting. It’s like you were trying to prove. You didn’t feel good enough inside.
Tommy Breedlove:
Chasing a ghost, brother. I was chasing a ghost.
Bryan Wish:
You talked a lot about your ascension was for the wrong reasons and you were doing it not really for the right reasons of fulfillment and even understanding that at the time.
Tommy Breedlove:
I was seeking happiness, right? That’s what we all want, is love and happiness. I was just chasing it in the wrong direction.
Bryan Wish:
Let me just ask you maybe a more vivid or pointed question. From what I understand of those firms, you have the big steak dinners and the big nights out and the drinks with clients and all that. Were there any times where you were at one of those events or sitting in ivory tower so to speak, and you’re kind of looking at it and saying, what is this all for? What led you to the point of saying, I need to make a change and step away?
Tommy Breedlove:
So that’s a great question. I think not many people have asked me that question. So there’s the unconscious Tommy and the conscious Tommy. So when I became aware of who I was, my insecurities, my fears, my demons, my not good enoughs, and I started to work in taking action toward healing myself and working towards self confidence, self-awareness, courage, love, happiness, fulfillment, just Tommy doing Tommy. I’m not saying that in arrogance. I’m saying that in complete peace. There was a moment when I started becoming aware. I’d never planned on leaving that world because of the financial security of it. But there was a moment, and I’m going to … actually, I’m not going to say the restaurant, but it’s a very nice restaurant in Buckhead. I’m eating lunch there and we’re talking about some sort of business development or business deal, and it’s me and a partner.
I was a partner at the firm. A client or a network … I don’t even remember who’s there. It doesn’t matter. I remember one person there, but I don’t remember the other people there. But what was consequential about that, what really matters is I was looking around this restaurant and it was all these gray haired men and women chasing the same bullshit, chasing the same clients, chasing the same nonsense. I’m like, God, this is going to be me. It’s never going to be … I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be sitting at this restaurant at 70 years old chasing one more client to buy one more thing, to impress one more person that’s inconsequential in my life. This is not me.
It happened in that restaurant. I’m looking around, I’m like, hell no. I was like, I’m 39 years old, I don’t know how many years I got, but it’s not going to be sitting in this restaurant chasing this client doing these things for stuff I don’t even believe in. It was in that moment I was like, you know what? I’m done. I’m done. I didn’t know what I was going to do, who I was going to do it for and where I was going, but I knew it wasn’t going to be in the financial services industry. Sorry, Goldman. Sorry, Price Waterhouse. Sorry, Deloitte. Sorry, McKenzie. And Candidly, fuck you. So there we go.
Bryan Wish:
Yeah.
Tommy Breedlove:
I love that all those people now hire me as an expert to help them be better leaders, to help them be better humans, to help them be more successful in life because I was them. I say that with love, by the way.
Bryan Wish:
Of course. But it makes you even more credible to the work you do because you understand their pain.
Tommy Breedlove:
Understand it well. I was there. I was in it.
Bryan Wish:
Right. So what happened? Let’s now get to how things have unfolded for you since. You realized life was not what you wanted. You realize in that moment, hey this changes is ahead. I don’t know where I’m going. Well, what transpired? When you left, what did you do? I think that for so many people, it’s so scary to take those jumps personally or professionally and to sit in the unknown. So for you, walk us through what that was like for you at the time.
Tommy Breedlove:
So I didn’t know what I was going to do. Here’s what I did know. At 36 years old, because I never dealt with those insecurities, those fears, those demons, I thought money, success, power, status, the corner office was going to make me happy. I think all of those things are super important, by the way. But I think money and status is a magnifying glass. If you’re conscious, aware and want to make impact, it’ll magnify that goodness. But if you’re insecure and fearful and angry, it’ll magnify that darkness. See politicians. So when the money, the power of the status didn’t fulfill me or didn’t make me happy or didn’t make me feel better about myself, I turned to all of the darkness. Think the Wolf of Wall Street lifestyle.
At 36 years old, it almost cost me everything yet again. It almost cost me my marriage. It almost cost me my firm and it almost cost me my life. I said, You know what? There’s got to be a better way, because this is just not working. So I literally woke up in a ditch in downtown Atlanta looking at the blue sky, didn’t know where my car was, half dressed, still wearing probably very nice clothes. I was like, My God, you’re not going to get a third try, brother. Are you going to die? Are you going to give up or are you going to go live your life? So in that moment, in that ditch, I decided to make me my full-time job. What does that mean? I hired coaches and therapists and went to retreats, and read books, and I worked on my inner game, my heart, my mind, and my soul. I went home and I told my wife everything and fully expecting her to leave, and she didn’t, thank God.
At that moment I said, enough is enough. I’m going to figure out who I am, where I’m going, who I want to be around and what I want to be. In 12 years, I’ve never looked back, man. But here’s the cool thing. I never planned on leaving the financial services industry. By the way, I know I was mean on them earlier. I love you guys. You guys have made me rich in so many different ways, so many different times. Keep doing what you’re doing because it only gives me more clients. Anyway, I’ll leave it at that. Cause they’re chasing the ghost of more and win. But with that being said, when I made that transformation, when I started working on me … and it sounds selfish, but it was truly selfless, because how do I love others if I don’t love me?
How do I respect others if I don’t respect me? How do I lead others if I don’t lead myself? So let me tell you what happened in three years in the financial services industry. I went from being one of the most hated people in the firm to one of the most beloved. I went from working 90 hours a week, probably. That’s probably not an exaggeration, down to 35. My income doubled. I went from junior partner to senior partner, to international practice leader, to elected to the board of directors. I became an owner of the company. My network 10X in all the right ways, not the wrong ways. So that’s the tangible results. So when I started making me my full-time job, working on myself every day with coaches, mentors, books, podcasts, therapists, you name it, man. I was working with them. Just being more confident, more courageous, more loving.
But the intangible results, the peace of mind that I came up with, the love in my marriage. My marriage went from life support to great. The fulfillment I filled, the self confidence I had, the self love I had, it was just off the charts. Here’s the cool thing, and this is what helped me to leave, is my network of entrepreneurs, executives, venture capitalists, private equity, accountants, lawyers, you name it. I was hanging out with all of them. They started asking me for a beer or they started asking me for a coffee, or they started like, let’s go take a walk. All of them, I thought we were networking, I thought we were going to do some business together. They’re like, “Hey man, you seem really happy. You seem really fulfilled. You didn’t give up your ambition and drive. How are you doing that? What drug are you taking?”
They literally would ask me, what drug are you taking? I’m like, brother and sister, I’m just working on me. This is how I did it. With them and support of mentors and coaches and people I was working with, they’re like, “You got to write a book because your story is pretty crazy and your journey is pretty crazy. But write a book, but write a book on how you did it, and write a book on the tactical ways that you changed yourself from confidence to courage, to peace, to presence, to fulfillment.” And I did. I wrote a book and, at 39 years old, I decided to sell my equity in the firm, walk away. 60 to 70% of our household income went out the door in one moment. But I sold my equity, I walked away, I wrote a book.
Since then, I’m in the experience retreat mastermind and coaching business of ambitious driven men and women. It’s a beautiful, beautiful life that I live now. But it was given to me. They asked for it. I never planned on doing this. I never planned on leaving the financial services world. But people keep asking me for help, advice and wisdom, and I kept giving them help, advice and wisdom. Let me be clear, I’m no sage on the stage. I am no guru. I am a guy who I get to talk in the mirror every single day of my life and like, Tommy, are you doing this? Tommy, are you doing this? Tommy, are you doing this?
I walk side by side with these men and women. But man, I love that I run the Legendary Life Movement. We’re an ecosystem. We’re a community. We’re a movement of people who want to be better in success, better in business, better in life and better in relationships. I think what makes us so different than everybody else is because I work on this shit every single day of my life to help others work on it every single day of their life. So, that was the transition, man.
Bryan Wish:
Wow. Well, it’s been quite the journey for you to do it. Question I want to ask you is, in that process of … let’s just say there’s a crack. You look under the hood and you see a lot of other cracks. You’re like, I got to heal a lot of things here. When you look at this moment before people started to say, Hey Tommy, how do you do it, or let’s get a beer. Were there any moments through the therapy or through the coaching, when you took a deeper look under the hood and you saw something there, you couldn’t and it just kind of broke you? Were there any moments like that worth sharing here?
Tommy Breedlove:
I think the sadness was … and I had a mentor say something to me that was, I think all of us human beings are given a story about ourselves. I think it comes through social media, I think it comes through the news. I think it comes through our parents, I think it comes through our communities. I think it comes through our religions, I think it comes through our teachers. The story is a lie. That’s the big crack is the story is a lie. The story that we tell ourselves about ourselves was given to us. The big crack is when a mentor, Carrie Gaho, I’m just going to call him out because I love him. He goes, “Tommy, are you ready to start living your life and stop living that story you’ve been telling yourself?” It didn’t matter where you’re from or how you were born or what color your skin is or what religion it is.
We’re all telling ourselves a story that’s a lie. Knowing that we can rewrite that story, we can rewire our hearts and minds and souls from fear to love, from scarcity to abundance, from not good enough to I got this. I think there were so many cracks, brother, and they were all lies. So what we got to realize is this story that we tell ourselves … first thing we got to realize is we’re not alone. Whatever fear and insecurity, or say you’re not happy or you’re not as successful as you want to be, or you don’t have as much money as you think you should have, or you’re not, whatever, your relationship isn’t good. Whatever it is that you’re not alone. If you’re dealing with it, millions of others are dealing with it. So that’s the first awareness, that’s the first crack as you called it.
The second thing is go find the nearest mirror. In that mirror is your solution and your problem. I had to fire … So there’s Tommy and there’s Ike. I call my alter ego, who wants to kill me slowly, who wants me to destroy my relationship, who doesn’t want me to be successful, who doesn’t want … that’s that guy. So I have to fire Ike. That’s another crack, on a regular basis, and hire Tommy. Because Tommy’s a good dude. He’s loving, he cares, he wants to be a good human. Ike’s an asshole. So that’s my alter ego. Minimizing that noise inside our head, and we all have it, the Tommy go around, for lack of a better word. So there’s a lot of cracks, and we all have them, but know that once you become aware, you can’t become unaware. And once you look in that mirror, you know you have a choice.
Are you going to be better than you were yesterday? Are you going to live up to your core values? Are you going to be the man and woman that you want to be? And know that we don’t have it all figured out. We’re all have our desires and insecurities, our fears, our nonsense. Know that you’re not alone, but just work towards being better than we were yesterday. So there was a lot of cracks, brother, to answer your question. There’s still a lot of cracks. But man, they are healing. Man, they are getting better. And from happiness to fulfillment to presence. You and I talked about my relationship with my wife. There’s always stuff that we have to work on. My wife and I decided about six months ago that we’re going to work hard on us because, in our business pursuits, in our life, in our love, in our friendship, we had lost ourselves in the pursuit of more and win, and we decided to double down ourselves.
We all have that. So know you’re not alone. Know that there’s always work to be done. Know that you’re never going to get there. But the cracks are always going to be there. Do you see them as failures or do you see them as learnings? So for me, every single crack is a learning and it’s about forgiveness, it’s about love, it’s about leadership. So I’ll just leave it at that. So there’s always cracks, brother.
Bryan Wish:
Yeah, absolutely. Beautiful answer, and honest, humble, humble answer. So the question I want to ask you as this pertains to your work is, when people come to you and say, “Hey Tommy, how can I do what you did?” Or “Hey Tommy, I want to be a part of the legendary ecosystem or community,’ as you called it. What does that look like today and in present form? How does one take that journey to themselves? How do you guide them? I’m just curious, would love for you to share.
Tommy Breedlove:
So we’re not for everybody. I just want to say that. If you’re finishing eighth place, we’re not handing you a trophy. So that’s not the legendary life movement. We’re not for everybody. We’re like for the top 10%. What does that mean? I’m not talking about money. So what my community, what my movement, what my mastermind, we’re in the retreat experiences in mastermind business. So we all have certain things in common. It doesn’t matter if you’re successful, and usually people put success in money. You just have to want to be successful. You have to want to be ambitious, you have to be driven. So I’m going to tell you what it looks like. So, that’s my movement. That’s my community, is they’re ambitious, they’re driven. They want to be successful and they want to be better in life, but they feel like something’s missing.
They feel alone, because I feel alone. They feel like they can’t ask for help, because that shows weakness. They’re ambitious or driven. They carry the profit burden. Most of my community are either executives or entrepreneurs or they’re aspiring to be entrepreneurs and executives. But they feel alone, they feel scared and they don’t want to admit it. They crave connection, they chase shiny things and they think if they work harder, they’re going to be more successful and more happy. Takes one to know one. I’m talking to myself here as well.
So we’re not for everybody. If you’re entitled, we’re not for you. If you’re a victim, go away. If you think that a politician is causing all your problems, go away. What my people want is they want accountability. They want to network, they want a community and they want to have real authentic, vulnerable conversations on how to be a better leader, how to be a better human, how to be more successful, how to be better in the business. We give them that ecosystem.
So from the retreats that we run for executives and entrepreneurs, from the community and movement and mastermind, and we give them experience as well. We travel all over the country and world and give them experiences to connect, to bond, to have real conversations, but also have some fun and lighten up. But what we want is to make them better leaders, better humans, better people, more successful, more happy. So what they realize when they come through the doors, they’re not alone. They’re not alone in their fears, they’re not alone in their aloneness. That hey, if you’re dealing with that partnership issue or you’re dealing with an employee or you’re dealing with that relationship issue, that you’re not alone. We give them a safe place to have independent conversations about being better in all phases of our life.
That’s the legendary life movement, and takes one to know one. So why I love about my job is I get to talk in the mirror all day long every day and say, Are you doing this brother, are you doing this? But we want the ambitious driven men and women who want to make impact, who want to be better in life and in love and in success and money. That’s our community. But we do it together. We’re the family you get to choose, brother. That’s what we are. We’re the family you get to choose. Because we don’t get to choose our families, but we get to choose this. I am just so inspired by these people every day. Some of them are so uber successful and they want to be uber better in life. And some are desiring to be successful, but they’re good over here in life, and we give them the ecosystem to be the best person they can be. That’s what the Legendary Life Movement is, man.
Bryan Wish:
Bet you break down a lot of people, you shed a lot of the tears and old layers and skin and help people become new in some powerful ways. When you say we’re in the experiences business and retreats and coaching and more tangibly speaking, if I’m listening and I’m like, okay, tell me a little bit more, kind of break that down for me more practically.
Tommy Breedlove:
My question for … I’m sorry, there’s a blower literally outside my door. Can you hear that?
Bryan Wish:
No, you sounds [inaudible 00:38:02].
Tommy Breedlove:
Good. I love it. So I’m literally looking at a guy blowing leaves right outside my window. It’s crazy. I think blowers were created by whatever evil, like Darth Vader. That’s where leaf blowers were created by. So what I would ask people who … do you want an inner circle of men and women who want to be more successful, who want to have more money, to want to have better relationships and want to be more happy? So what the Legendary Life Movement is about, it’s about community, it’s about connection. Do you want to be better than you were yesterday? Do you have a drive for more and win? Cause we all do. We’re chasing that ghost to more and win. So we’re a community of ambitious driven people. What we want to do is change the paradigm is leadership of ourself first.
The number one failure in leadership is self-awareness. So what we focus on is retreats. The retreats are this. In order to join our mastermind, you have to come through a retreat. Not for our community. Our community is where you dip your toe in the water. But to be in our mastermind and to be in our experiences where we travel all over the planet, and have fun and connect and go deep, but also laugh a lot. But our retreats are to reintroduce that leader, that entrepreneur, that executive back to themselves, to help them lead themselves fully, to help them with courage, to help them with self-confidence, to help them in purpose, to help them with their core values, to make them accountable to themselves so that they can lead others. So lead ourselves so we can lead others. Respect ourselves so we can respect others. Love ourselves so we can love others.
So the retreat is by far the most world class and badass thing that we would do and people love it. But they come to the beautiful North Georgia Mountains and they step away from their businesses. They step away from their family, which is hard for us entrepreneurs. It’s really hard for us to do. They step away from all that to go lead themselves. But what they realize when they’re there is they’re not alone. They connect because we crave connection. We crave authenticity. We crave to have difficult conversations about how do we be better leaders. So who we’re for, the tangible thing that we are about, is we want a community of ambitious, driven people who want to be better in all phases of their life. Who want to connect twice a month, sometimes four times a year, sometimes one time a year.
So we’re going to give them the ecosystem and tribe to help them be better in all phases their life. So, that’s the tangible things that we do. But you can join our community, you can dip your toe in the waters. That’s the community that we offer. Or you can go deep and get real and go to a retreat. It scares the hell out of people, but when they leave there. They’re like, My god, that’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Then once they go through retreat, we offer them the experiences of masterminds after that. So that’s who we are and what we do.
Bryan Wish:
I love how there’s different steps, because it isn’t something that can happen overnight.
Tommy Breedlove:
No.
Bryan Wish:
It takes a lot of time and effort.
Tommy Breedlove:
And trust, right?
Bryan Wish:
Trust.
Tommy Breedlove:
We’re not a cult. We’re not going to sing Kumbaya or run naked through the woods or go sit in ice tubs. There’s all that shit. You can go do that wherever you want to go do that. We’re not any of that. We’re entrepreneurs and executives. We get real, we get honest. We want to be better, but we’re not a cult. So it takes trust. So what I love about the book Legendary is it builds that trust. What I love about the community, for people who are not ready to commit fully to the retreat mastermind and the experiences, it builds trust. To know they’re not alone, to know that they can have a deeper connection, to know they can be authentic, they can ask for help, and to know that there’s other entrepreneurs and executives who got their back, it takes time and trust.
So we’re not for everybody. I don’t want to be for everybody. If you’re apathetic, entitled, or a victim, you do you. But if you’re ambitious and driven and want a community of other ambitious, driven people who want to live by their core values and who want to be more happy, who want to be more healthy, want better relationships, join us. So we’re not for everybody and we do not negotiate that.
Bryan Wish:
Yeah, well I love how specific you are in who you are, who you serve, what you do, how you do it. Seems like a very thoughtful model that creates breakthroughs, that creates transformative changes like you experience yourself.
Tommy Breedlove:
I get to work on me every single day with working with others.
Bryan Wish:
So Tommy, as we bring this home, I think I have a final question and then want people to figure out where to find you and all the things. You’ve changed much of your relationship with yourself and you’ve also created a vehicle to serve the world through. How have you noticed within or what have you noticed in relationship with others, how you show up differently yourself?
Tommy Breedlove:
Yeah, I think for me, I was so scared to be me for so long and to be unapologetic. I’m from the south side of Atlanta. English is not a strong suit for me. I have a southern accent. I struggle. I have my fears, I have insecurities. For me to show up every day with courage and self confidence and self love in true extreme ownership and all the things that I do … In the past I used to take five steps forward and seven back. Now I take nine forward and one back. This is not what it sounds like to have it all figured out. I do not have it all figured out, but man, I work my ass off. So I’m in the experience in coaching business. Guess what I do? I work with coaches. I have two coaches right now. I run the masterminds. Guess what I’m in? Two masterminds right now.
So I walk the walk. For me, it’s not about talking. There’s so many people in this space that just talk and they take pictures of them on planes and who cares? No one gives a shit. Unconscious sheep give a shit. But the lions of the world, the people who want to love better, who want to lead better, who want to serve better, that’s our people. I think people are attracted to us because I show up. I work on myself so that I can work on others. I hire coaches so that I can coach others. I’m in masterminds so I can lead masterminds. I think for me, being unapologetically perfectly imperfect and forgiving myself and not taking things too seriously, and just enjoying the journey, being present, seeing the good in the world, there’s no better feeling than seeing the good and goodness and love and learnings all around me. To me, that’s how I have changed. To me, that’s how the people who we serve change. So I’ll leave it at that.
Bryan Wish:
Beautiful. I don’t think I need to add anything to that.
Tommy Breedlove:
I love it, brother.
Bryan Wish:
Tommy, where can people find your work, you, your book?
Tommy Breedlove:
So we’re working on this. The book is everywhere. By the way, if you’re not a reader, I will read it to you. So if my Southern accent doesn’t bother you, it is on Audible. It’s in electronic Kindle with all the electronic books, but it’s also hard back, soft cover. It’s everywhere, airports, your favorite bookstore. You can get the book anywhere. What I love about the book and why it’s done so good, and I think Brian, you said this when we were offline, is it’s simple, it’s relatable, but most importantly, it’s executable. It’s not theory. It’s little things that you can apply in your life to make a difference in whatever area you want to work on. So the book is everywhere.
You’ll love this as a brander and marketer. It’s crazy that I’m talking to a world class brand or a marketer like Bryan Wish. Right now, go to tommybreedlove.com and our retreats, our experiences, our community, our book, who we are, what we stand for, where we’re going is there. But I know Tommy Breedlove is not going to be here forever, so we’re building the Legendary Life Movement, which is the movie. We have other facilitators, other coaches, other people. So eventually the Legendary Life Movement is going to be where people live. But right now, owning that, tommybreedlove.com. You can learn about our retreats, men’s and women’s retreats. You can learn about our experiences, you can learn about our community, you can learn about our masterminds, and you can just see what we’re all about and give us a chance to build your trust.
I promise you, we will not disappoint you. We’re not a cult. I promise you that too. We have a no religion, no politics rule in our business. So we love you. Just check us out a tommybredlove.com. We’re all over social media as well. But the book Legendary, and that’s aspirational by the way. I’ve written a book that God willing, when I leave this earth, that someone will say, I lived a legendary life. I do not think I’m legendary. But the whole point of the book is to build and live a legendary life and to serve others better and to serve yourself better. So, that’s where you can find me.
Bryan Wish:
Beautiful. Well, we’ll direct people there as well. So thank you Tommy for your time, enthusiasm, heart, and we’ll talk to you soon.
Tommy Breedlove:
Love you, brother.